Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.