Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
