help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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