I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
