That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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