I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
