Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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