Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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