They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
