oh god the rape fog is back!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
vagina is talking i cant
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
