I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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