You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
