All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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