if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
