Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
