I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
