dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
