is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize