I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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