You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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