Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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