Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize