Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
