I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
