i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
