There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no you cant smoke seaweed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
