i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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