Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
