I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize