Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
