I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize