Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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