After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
