Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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