Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
