She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
