Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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