You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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