Midget sex pt 2 tonight
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
God I need to hump something, right now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
