Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just pee around me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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