just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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