I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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