Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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