So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
