you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
