yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
