My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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