some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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