he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Green mimosas i think yes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
