If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
