but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
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that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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