...so i touched it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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