I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
