i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
