wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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