My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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