Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize