So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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